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Alright, hello.
It has been a good number of months since I last posted anything on here.
There are many reasons as to why I disappeared from this space for a while, but I won’t go into those today.
Today I am not even posting a big ‘hey I am back and you can expect lots of posts from me again’ kind of post.
I just felt the urge to write, to document. And here I am.
Do you know when you look back in time and you realise how good life was, how easy? Well, but at the time, when you were in those moments – childhood, university, your first love – you did not realise that those were special times. Future Memories. Moments that you would look back on with a bit of heartache because they had passed – as each and every moment does.
Two days ago, I was riding my bike back home from the gym and suddenly realised:
These are the days.
These are the days I will look back on. And I decided I am going to be here for it. I am going to take it all in. I don’t want to only realise later, how lucky I am being now. And suddenly I was just overwhelmed with so much gratitude.
You know, as someone who has battled depression and anxiety for more than half of their life, seeing the good things is not always so easy to do. But equally, having battled (very actively) depression and anxiety, I have become very good at it anyway.
I have forced myself, again and again, to give thanks. I made lists of what I am grateful for. And I tried to find some joy in each day. It seems like it slowly but surely, finding joy has become second nature.
Walking to the post office, I smell the fresh air and see all the vibrant colours, feel the smoothness of the paper of the letter in my hand. And I am grateful.
Grateful I can walk.
Grateful for the beauty of nature.
Grateful that I work freelance and don’t have to spend all hours of daylight stuck in some office.
Grateful to be alive.
So, all I wanted to do today, is to document this moment. This moment of sheer gratitude.
And I wanted to say, even if it is hard: fight to find a happy thought. Keep giving thanks. You’re alive. That’s such a miracle. Not always easy, but still miraculous.
Another post I wrote about gratitude: 5 things I am grateful for
What you can do if you’re feeling not so grateful and kind of uninspired: 7 ways to get yourself out of a rut
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