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Here is the third installment of my weekly journal! Feel free to check out Volume 1 and Volume 2 as well. I had Corona this week so there aren’t many pictures, just a few snippets on how I survived the week as well as some thoughts on the Sewing Bee and our babies sleep problems.
Sunday // 23:17
Today our church plant hosted a big BBQ at our place. In a way, I love doing things like this. Bringing people together, eating good food and enjoying community. However, I also get a bit stressed out by these things. Edd and I normally disagree on the level of preparation we put in and when to start said preparation which made for an interesting morning.
Anyway, on the whole, Edd is probably right – things don’t have to be perfect and it is fine to go with the flow a bit more. Funny. In most situations I have to tell him to relax but when it comes to having people over I suddenly get very highly strung. I wonder why.
This morning I went for a swim while SJ napped and made a big portion of potato salad.
Monday // 10:21
This morning I woke up with a sore throat, so decided to do a Covid-test. It was positive. I just called in sick at work as my symptoms are getting progressively worse.
We were able to escape catching Corona so far, but I knew it was highly likely to happen eventually. So here we are. Annoying, but not the worst time – we have no holiday planned or people from the UK visiting this week, so it could be worse!
I will go and lie down now. Hopefully my symptoms won’t get much worse. Being ill whilst looking after a Baby is no fun at all!
// 12:26
Wow I am so grateful for our flat. I am resting in bed with the balcony door open and listening to the birds. I love living here.
Wednesday // 06:02
I didn’t get a chance to write last night. Even though her test is still negative, I am pretty sure SJ now has Covid as well. She was up last night until after 11, not happy at all. She has a fever and coughs a little. It was a rough night. We were up again at 3 am and 5:30 am… she seems to be going back to sleep now. I should probably try and do the same!
Other than entertaining SJ I didn’t do much yesterday. It was pretty hot out so we played by the paddling pool in our garden in the afternoon. During her naps I mostly read and watched a bit of the Great British Sewing Bee whilst continuing to knit on my Hope Socks.
// 22:24
Today was hard. I definitely felt worse than yesterday. SJ refused to nap other than on me, so I didn’t really get any time to myself. She was so clingy, I couldn’t even leave her in her playpen for two minutes while using the bathroom. Being ill is one thing, but being ill and looking after a child that is also ill is a whole other ballgame. I just wanted to lie on the sofa and watch TV. Instead I carried SJ through the house, played with her in all the different rooms and in the garden to give her a bit of variety. She was up until past nine this evening, but went down easier than last night. Hopefully we’ll both sleep well and will feel better for it tomorrow!
Thursday // 11:30
Even though I am lying in bed with Covid, with a hot baby on top of me, I feel grateful. I love July. It is the perfect weather right now: fresh mornings and hot afternoons. I love the green everywhere and the blooming flowers.
Most of this week I have been pre-occupied with looking after SJ, she doesn’t really want to be on her own – not even across the room from me. But in the rare moments where she napped on her own or Edd had time to look after her I have been watching the Great British Sewing Bee. It’s my absolute favourite show. And makes me feel so inspired to sew!
I haven’t sewn at all since we moved – with work, childcare, housework and finishing up moving tasks there hasn’t been enough time. But I am really hoping to get my sewing machine out soon. Even if it is just for an hour or so.
I should make a list of all the clothes I want to sew. Maybe I will do that here on the blog. (Update: I did! You can read my list here!)
Friday // 10:26
The thing I pray about the most at the moment (by a long stretch) is SJs sleep. Which, I guess, is both telling about my prayer life and the situation. It’s just all problematic. The falling asleep and the staying asleep and the going back to sleep. It’s not just that I am yearning for a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours for myself – I just hate this whole struggle around it.
Don’t get me wrong – I am so so grateful that I was and am able to breastfeed our baby and that our journey in that was so unproblematic. But sometimes I feel like it has caused us a lot of problems in the sleep department. SJs preferred way to sleep is still attached to my boobs. I am finding it exhausting and it is just so limiting.
These last few days where both her and I were ill were especially challenging as any kind of routine was completely out the window. I am tempted to call the pediatrician to ask for advice. But I also feel so silly. It’s not like one should expect to get lots of sleep with a baby. Am I making this a bigger thing than it is? Does anyone have any experience with this? Would LOVE some perspective and advice!
// 23:15
I finished reading a book yesterday called “Alles neu macht der Mai” by Klaus Kordon. It details the last year of the war from the perspective of a 16-year old girl who has to flee from her home together with her mother and three younger siblings. Being a mum of just one child I have endless admiration for parents of multiple children. But it is unimaginable to pack up your life and your four kids while your husband is fighting in a war. I can’t imagine the stress and anxiety mothers must have gone through. And it is not like anyone applauded them for it as everyone was having to cope with similar challenges.
And the thing is – this situation didn’t just exist 80 years ago. Families in Syria, Ukraine and other places face similar fates. And at the same time I am here with all the safety and support one could dream of and I still find myself getting overwhelmed . How can that be? And more importantly – how can I move past these feelings and use my privilege and fortunate situation to help and support others?
Saturday // 16:33
We have been trying to keep a weekly Sabbath on and off for the last two years. During lockdown it was hard to have one day be different from the other. And now – life is just so busy. What does a day of rest look like with a baby? She still needs her nappies changed, to be fed and entertained.
Our current approach is to have a 24-hour rest from 1pm on Saturday to 1pm on Sunday. We wanted to include the Sunday morning as normally it is a time where we are with other Christians, drawing near to God to worship Him and enjoy His presence. And then before, we just have a Saturday afternoon to do whatever delights us.
Today SJ had an earlier nap meaning our plans changed a bit. I ended up doing the hoovering after the “official start” of our Sabbath but such is life! Whilst the baby napped I picked berries and fruit in the garden which I had with some yogurt for lunch. Bliss!
There isn’t much that brings Edd more joy than F1, so that’s what he is watching right now. SJ normally doesn’t get any screen time but we allow her to be around when we watch sports. So I will use this time whilst the two of them watch the sprint race to do a bit of knitting. I started listening to the “Risen Motherhood” book on audio. Might continue to do that.
// 20:54
Just watched the Sewing Bee Final. Oh I am so happy about who won! I could say more but don’t want to reveal anything in case you haven’t seen it yet. This has been one of the best seasons yet. Cannot wait for the next one!
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