3 min read
I am sad today.
I am an extremely privileged person with a very happy and full life. But there are difficult days. Painful stuff happens. And today was one of those hard days.
Let’s not do this anymore
For a long time, my go to method for dealing with negative emotions was to supress them. I would isolate myself and stuff those feelings down. Fill that schedule, work hard, keep going. No crying allowed.
I don’t want to offend anyone, but that approach is stupid. Pretending like nothing is wrong when we are hurting wrecks our souls and bodies. We cannot grow if we run away from grief, anger and sadness. We cannot process or move on.
A new approach
This might seem difficult to believe, but being vulnerable does not come naturally to me. It is something I had to learn. I used to just tell people about difficulties once I was on the other side. What I am trying now, is to be open. To be honest when a friend asks “how are you?”. I am still an internal processor but I recognise that it is good and healthy to have a few people who know what is going on in my life, my soul, my spirit.
Also, people often talk about the importance of being present. To not miss your kids first steps or the fireworks because you are busy filming with your phone. But to really enjoy and be there for what is happening. I fully agree – we should soak up every good moment. But I also believe that it is important to live all of it. To feel the sadness and the anger and confusion. To sit with it. And not drown it out with Netflix or alcohol or other distractions. We get through it, by getting through it.
Work in progress
I am not perfect at this new approach. But I am learning. And I have experienced so much good from it. Sharing my pain with others is scary, but whenever I have done so I have been showered with love and kindness.
The other thing I keep experiencing that when I surrender to the situation, God comes close.
Jesus is here. That does not mean that there is no pain but it means I am not alone. It means there is hope. And purpose, even if it is hard to understand right now.
Maybe you need to hear this too: God sees you. He is for you. It will be okay.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the LORD your God.Isaiah 43:1-3
This is Day 56 of my 100 Day Project. You can learn more about my 100 day project by reading this post. If you want to do your own 100 day Project, I would recommend checking out the 100 Day Project website.
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