5 min read
On the day I am writing this, Edd and I have been married for 7 years! Sadly, we aren’t spending our wedding anniversary together as Edd is in England for work right now. But he send a beautiful bouquet of flowers which made me super happy and also made me feel a bit embarrassed. Last week I told a friend that I would love it if Edd would send flowers for our anniversary but that I didn’t expect him to remember in time to do so. I clearly underestimate him!
Some anniversary thoughts
Two years ago, for our five year wedding anniversary I published two posts: one with lots of photos from our civil ceremony and our two (!) weddings.
In the other I shared a bit of our story and what I had learned during our first five years as a married couple.
Since writing that post, our circumstances have changed quite a bit. We have moved twice and we have become parents!
I thought I would share a bit of how parenthood has impacted our marriage and what has helped us in this season.
Marriage and parenting
When I was pregnant, I was quite worried how having children would affect our relationship. I had heard from a lot of people how parenting caused a lot of arguments and that they had no more time for each other.
I am extremely grateful that we had five years to adventure and spend lots of time together before we had SJ. Sleepless nights, unpredictable schedules, hormones and differing opinions on certain parenting decisions do put a strain on a relationship. However, by now we have learned to navigate challenges. We are able to let things go, to discuss things calmly and to be patient with one another. (Not all the time, but more often than not.)
A new shared interest
Edd and I are very different. We don’t share a lot of hobbies or interests. But now we have SJ. And we are both in love with her! We are so proud of her and sharing the joy of raising this amazing girl has most definitely brought us closer together.
I love looking across the room and meeting Edd’s eye when she does something funny or cute. Other people delight in her, but no one gets as excited about this girl as us. And we made her! I think that’s just mad and amazing.
One of the things that made me fall in love with Edd is his sense of humour. He doesn’t take life too seriously and always finds something to laugh about.
Being able to take things with humour has definitely been an extremely helpful shift in our marriage. Neither Edd nor I are “breezy” people. We take a lot of things veeery seriously. But learning to stop seeing everything as a “hill to die on” helps so much.
Especially when it comes to discussions about day-to-day things, like housework, it is so helpful to not take things too seriously. Laughter kills of resentment and diffuses anger. And it makes life more fun.
The importance of community
Every book on marriage will tell you about the importance of date nights. I agree – prioritising time for just the two of us is vital.
However, I also believe that inviting other people into our shared life is super important. Spending time with others stimulates new conversations, inspires different approaches to old problems and encourages to keep investing into kindness and love for one another.
In our wedding in England the congregation was asked to vow to uphold and champion our marriage. Hearing all of our friends and family say “we will” made me feel incredibly loved and supported.
Even today a good friend who had been there messaged me to send congratulations. I know that she faithfully prays for us and her regular words of encouragement make such a difference.
To the next 7 years and more
Well, happy anniversary to us! I am so grateful for our life and am very excited for the next 7 (and many more) years together!
This is Day 55 of my 100 Day Project. You can learn more about my 100 day project by reading this post. If you want to do your own 100 day Project, I would recommend checking out the 100 Day Project website.