Tired, restless, grateful // weekly journal vol.7

5 min read

Monday 19:56

I’m on day 5 of my “dopamine detox” challenge and am still picking up my phone trying to check Instagram. I didn’t realise how strong of a habit this was.

Today was a pretty good day. I was super tired as I only had around two hours of sleep last night. The sleeplessness was partly caused by the baby, partly by a stomach ache and partly by my overactive mind that just wouldn’t shut down.

I feel a bit restless these days. I often get the urge to declutter our home, to overhaul all my routines, to try and change something somehow, ideally myself. Not sure, if this is some sort of postpartum hormonal thing. The other day I also realised that we have been living in this flat for almost two years. Since 2011 I have moved 11 times. So, maybe the habit of decluttering and going through my belongings every one to two years is just hard to shake!

Wednesday 15:49

Right now, I am lying on the sofa, “trapped” beneath my sleeping baby. There is stuff I should do but I am choosing to enjoy this peaceful moment. The sun is shining, I can hear the birds through the cracked window. Edd took SJ to the playground and I am so grateful for my life.

Currently I am listening to an audiobook which is about a family which lived in Cologne in Germany during the reign of Hitler. They have a daughter with Down syndrome and she gets taken away and killed. This story is a bit too much for my tender mother heart. However, it reminded me how lucky I am to bring my children up in times of peace. I have the means to clothe and feed them. How privileged we are! I don’t want to take these things for granted.

Friday 20:34

It is Friday. A whole week of not using social and very little blogging has passed and I feel… kind of rested.

Having a week “off” from the online world and all its noise definitely has been beneficial. I love this space and to write something to post on here most days but it was good to have a few days without having to come up with ideas and the right words to express them. However, I am starting to feel ready to come back! Writing is so good for my soul.

Other than being off social media it also has been quite a lovely week. SJs nursery is closed this week and I have so enjoyed having her around all day. She’s just so fun to hang out with. This age is definitely the best yet!

Yesterday morning I took the girls to our family centre where we hang out with some friends from SJs nursery and we had the loveliest time getting to know them a bit more. In the afternoon Edd finished work early and we walked to the ice cream parlour which was so lovely. Today we saw some friends and then had a relaxed evening at home.

Sunday 16:08

It’s been a lovely weekend! Yesterday morning we had breakfast with some good friends at Fünfschilling. We then spent a bit of time chilling at home before we met with the family for coffee and cake over at my parent’s house. The weather was lovely so we were able to spend some time in the garden, playing table tennis and eating cherries off the tree.

Today we headed to the zoo. SJ wasn’t really up for seeing lots of animals but we spend some time in the monkey house, saw a baby giraffe and the penguins. Plus, we had a lovely picnic and ice cream!

Now, we are back home. I just put L to bed for a nap and Edd and SJ are watching Formula One. I might nap a bit myself now!

Tomorrow, SJ is back at nursery after a week at home. I really enjoyed having so much time together, especially as Edd was also around lots and we got to hang out lots as a family. I am so grateful for my life!

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