In a previous post I mentioned that this blog is dedicated to help us live life in alignment with our values.
How can we do that? First, we need to define what our values are. Do you hold any religious beliefs that shape your values? What are you passionate about? What do you believe is the point of being alive? What does the life look like that you want to look back on before you die?
I have written a longer post on what it it is that I believe, but in a nutshell: I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus gave his life so that we could live and that my purpose is to follow him, to love him and to spread his love to others.
My day to day decisions are influenced by my faith in Jesus and my desire is to live in alignment with his teachings more and more. To be honest, often it is the small, day to day decisions that are the really important ones and they end up shaping what our life looks like. However, this year I have made 3 big choices that have fundamentally changed my life. In all three situations there would have been an easier option than the one I ended up going for. However, I do not regret any of them in the slightest because they were decisions I had to made in order to live up to my values.
Writing about all three of them will make this post very long so I split them up and write about each decision in a different post.
Part One: I got married
Early this year, in April to be precise, I got married. You might wonder how that could have been not ‘the easy option’. (If you ever had to plan the wedding, you will understand why not!) The easy option would have been to put off the decision further. To get to know each other more before making this big step. To keep our options open. Commitment is not a popular concept in our culture and I for sure was not its biggest fan. I used to notoriously click “maybe” whenever I got an invite for an event on facebook – “who knows maybe something more exciting will come up or I won’t be in the right mood to go or maybe it will rain…” – you get the gist. I used to think that being free to change my mind last minute was of great importance and the key to living an exciting life. Well, I can tell you now it isn’t the key for excitement but fore sure a great recipe to annoy all of your friends.
With the above in mind you can imagine how overwhelmed I was by the idea of getting married. It took some time and some tears and a really good preach by Tim Keller and conversations with friends from church for me to realise that keeping my options open and testing whether we were really right for each other past a certain point in time is incredibly selfish. If you really love someone you are willing to commit to them. Of course you don’t get married to someone a day after meeting but if you been dating for a while and know that you want to spend the rest of your life with your girl/boyfriend it is time to put your money where your mouth is. Getting married is promising the other person that we will love them without condition. It is to assure them that your love won’t dwindle because they left their socks lying around and that you won’t go anywhere even if you had a fight and you’re angry or even disappointed. And its the most wonderful thing to receive this unconditional love in return.
The Bible talks a lot about marriage and how it is to reflect the love of Jesus for His church. He committed to us to the point of death. If I want to be like Him, I have to learn to make decisions and stick with them, to give yes and no answers (rather than maybe) and I had to make the decision whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving and honouring Edd (without any #fomo [fear of missing out]) or not. I chose the former.
It has only been six months but so far it has been the most exciting adventure of my life.